Happy New Year..a few days later

Enjoying the beautiful view at Foxeys,Jan 2012













Happy New Year  to you lovely people out there!In regardless which corner of the globe you are from and reading this, I wish you joy and happiness for the new year

If 2011 has been a year full of turbulence and hasn’t treated you well, I hope and pray this year will be a kinder one filled with exciting new starts and opportunities.

And if 2011 has  been good to you, I pray 2012 continues to be a year filled with goodness and blessings  for you.

As for me,2011 started off rather quietly, relatively placid almost a routine start to the year,back to work with the usual monotony and I even wrote on the relevance of writing new year resolutions…or not…I was quite happy to go with the flow, true to the water sign that I am.

But as the shininess of the new year started to fade,aside from hearing bits of pieces of bad news from family and friends being afflicted by sicknesses, natural disasters and a few deaths(which had me going wondering what the f*ck was going), my own family here had a dark cloud hanging over our heads. A loved one who was in remission, is back to fighting for her life, and I felt myself unwillingly withdraw into self-protective mode while a part of me slipping into despair over this and the same old fear of loss came creeping back .

I had a great time in late April to May  with  travel back to KL and going to Sri Lanka for the very first time, catching up with family and friends in both countries was a fantastic time but in honesty,while each time I return to Oz from KL, I experienced extreme” home-sickness” for my closest of  friends in KL, this time the home-sickness had intensified  more than before (which is unusual as I have moved over 8 years ago).

I think that is when I started to slip…

I love getting lost in the vines

I don’t know when exactly it started, perhaps it had always been there masked by my efforts of trying to cope in every sense with emotional issues which I could not even pin-point or had difficulty dealing with, the final push was probably extreme dissapointment with friends who I thought were genuine and cared about me and dealing with extremely negative work environment.

Learning to be true to myself and recognising the fact that I am “not happy” and acknowledging  that I was feeling tired emotionally  were the first few steps to self discovery and for once, I can honestly feel that I am truly on the road of finding myself.

I thank God for one friend who cared enough to encourage me to seek professional help and  even referred a really good psychotherapist to me, whom I started to see 3 months ago.I’ve come to accept there are years of emotional de-cluttering to do and the end result will be rewarding because I will emerge a much healthier person in every aspect and I look forward to that day.

So 2011 has been tough on me but liberating in the personal sense, I am feeling less afraid and working on liking myself more and feeling more positive about 2012.

Which is why two days ago I completed my resolutions for 2012  and glued them on my journal so that I could go through them as personal mantras or goals which I would like achieve as I believe this  is a year of growth!!

Love, Rachel

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.
— Author Unknown

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.
— Joseph Campbell


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